Here are some basic facts about Hyphen that you need to know in order to appreciate this post.
- I am rotund.
- I like pizza.
I really like pizza. This week on Boners Weekly we’re not going to rate gay youtube videos or queer youtube videos. There will be a youtube video, but it’s not what we are reviewing, for what we are reviewing is what the video is of!
Now that we live in THE FUTUREwe can do such amazing things as talk to people across the world in less than a second or order pizza online! Yes! We can not only order pizza online, but we can track it! We can track the pizza! Please sit down, hold onto something, and get ready to clean up your pants after you moisten them, because here comes some video!
See, what you do is that you order the pizza online at Dominos Pizza’s website. You can pick from their wide variety of coupons, and then even customize your pizza. Do you want a large pizza with the LEFT half olives and the RIGHT half anchovies? Yeah, neither do I, olives and anchovies suck, but if you were so inclined YOU FUCKING COULD! So you order your pizza (Meat Lovers, in a non-gay way) and you pay online with a credit card and punch in your address and then the pizza tracker comes up. The pizza tracker tell you the following things:
- That your pizza is being made
- That Vikrham is making your pizza.
- When your pizza is in the oven
- That Jesús is delivering your pizza
- That you now have your pizza
That’s pretty handy.
On top of all that, you even get to answer a very PATRIOTIC survey after you get your pizza. You can rate Vikrham on his pizza making abilities or Jesús’ speediness. I gave Vikrham 4/5 stars (my pizza had a touch too much sauce on it.)